Looking at the amount of effort (or rather, lack of) that I have been putting into the blog these few weeks, it remains but a wonder to me that there are still some of you lurking around. And it’s an even bigger amazement to still receive emails of encouragement from netizens whom I know naught about :) Love love!

On a related note, my procrastination could very well be my downfall. I have a ton of emails dating a MONTH back to clear; both blog-wise and personal, and I swear every single time Windows Live completes its loading, all enthusiasm to reply emails and comments had sauntered out the door and I think, to the neighbor downstairs. Karaoke in decibels not meant for public consumption at anytime of the day? That’s them alright. Sometimes I seriously wonder where they keep their sense of consideration. Stuffed deep in the recesses of their ears perhaps? What else could explain blasting Dangdut at midnight?

Anyway, I’ve been toying with the idea of quitting blogging altogether as it’s been months now that I feel like blogging has lost its appeal. I no longer feel the intense desire and need to jot down every minuscule details of my life the moment I get home, preferring to snuggle in between covers with the boyfriend on the other line, relaying my day to him. Less effort, more comfortable and I don’t have to keep tabs on what I say.

So this will be my last entry on Fingersdontfing.com, and I love all of you, and I promise that before I get lost, I will reply all comments and emails :) I guess, it’s the very least I can do for all your wonderful support and love-pills you guys have prescribed to me all these time!

Ok gotcha! Of course this isn’t my last entry :P Where else can I write crap on days when the nights seem so long and dreary?

So anyway, before the novelty of it wears off, I just want to jot down that the boyfriend and I have had the worse week ever with regards to our still anak abu relationship! Haha… I am pretty much excited as for the first time I get to experience first hand what my friends mean when they say that relationships are boring without the fights. To cut the long story short (and not spill out the super drama-mama details), I think we are much better off then we were before the fights.

It was as if all the negativity got thrown out, leaving a new rawness which hurt for a while, but consequently with much tender loving care, Haikal and I both managed to work things out and it’s like our first month all over again; all the silly messages, morning phonecalls, hushed proclamations, swallowed giggles. It was a breath of fresh air which I think, truthfully, gave life to wilting root.

And really, honestly, it is because of him that we are fast approaching our one year come July 3rd. I still wonder in amazement and in great thanks that God lent him to me, for whichever period it has been predetermined, because really, I have never met anyone so patient, so kind and loving and yet so annoyingly irritating. I love you, Biebie :)

Anyway, I find it really devastating when someone close to heart forgets his roots. Not trying to validate my lack of qualifications or whatsoever, but really, what’s the use of top notch education and a high pay when in the end, you forget the two persons who made it even possible for you to get to where you are?

Oh yes, of course, you are an adult now, you have your own life to begin, your new journeys and of course, you’re stressed out with bills and stuff, but please, what about the stuff that YOUR parents could have enjoyed at the expense of YOUR education and YOUR wellbeing? Did you for once stop to think about that instead of instantly blaming them for putting pressure on you bla bla bla? It makes me so infuriatingly mad that you could say things like that, cuz man, wake up and realize that the world does not revolve around you.

Really, if I were given a choice between being the abovementioned, or someone who is deemed to be ‘less successful’ but remembers his roots, I would without a doubt, choose to be the latter. I can only pray that he’d realize what a great error of judgment he had made, and God Forbid that I evolve into him a few years down the road.

Truly, all respect, all sense of pride I had in him gushed out in torrents, akin to the tears that his parents shed that night he said it all.

P/s. I have this weird tendency of managing to catch the time whenever it has a series of the numero uno every single day. For example, I just flicked my eye up a few seconds ago and the clock showed 2:11am. The previous time I looked, it was 1:11am. The day before, I caught the clock at 11:11am, and it’s weird as it happens almost every single day. Is it supposed to mean anything? A friend of mine says that it’s just that my body’s so used to it it’s akin to programming it to automatically search for a clock at those specific times of the day. Got such thing meh?

I still think it’s a sign of something so I should probably head to bed :) G’night lovelies!