Since the beginning of the year, I have been doing a lot of thinking. REAL thinking. The sort which requires endless sleepless nights, a troubled mind and heart and an onslaught of wrinkles etching themselves all over my already breaking-out face.

First and foremost, for the sake of easier understanding throughout reading this lengthy post (divided into parts), I think it’s time I officially announce that I have actually taken up a Permanent Job offer since last month. The news is bound to be out someday anyway. If you’re a close friend/relative of mine and am feeling hurt that I did not inform/confide in you personally, please, don’t be.

It was a personal decision I had to make on my own and the reasons for which I undertook this path shall remain out of public eye - as they say, ‘Don’t wash your dirty laundry in public’. To me, the World Wide Web is pretty much the epitome of public :) Furthermore, seeing that I am only 19 and holding but a mere A level certificate, entering the workforce was nothing to be proud of.

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When someone asks me if I’m a Malay-Malay or an English-Malay, I find myself perplexed in trying to answer the question. First and foremost, what makes one a Malay-Malay (MM), or an English-Malay (EM)?

If it’s the language that one speaks, then I’d have to say that I’m neither a MM or an EM, as I can speak both languages and the choice of which depends wholly on the company I am with. Even when speaking between Malays, I sometimes find myself (and the company) conversing in English. But sometimes even with Non-Malays, I can catch myself blurting out Malay words or phrases accidentally.

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