Admittedly, the relationship I’m in with Haikal has been the toughest one I have been in (despite the fact that it has also been the most rewarding), for the fact that we’re really trying to make it as honest as possible, and perhaps cuz we’re both looking at the definition of relationships differently from how we once thought of them.

As for myself, I recall the times when I was in and out of relationships like nobody’s business; 3 months with Guy A, single for 1 month and finding myself in another short relationship soon after. I even had boyfriends who last for like 2 days -.- It is no surprise that I have forgotten some of their names, or who comes first etcetera.

I guess, now, I am more careful in treading and I have to admit, I remind myself every single day no longer to lose my identity when I am in a relationship. I really have learnt my lessons from my previous failed relationship and it is something which I intend to uphold, whilst at the same time trying as hard as possible to make what I have with Haikal work. It is tough work, and there is just so many tough decisions to make.

Undoubtedly I am struggling, but I have faith in what we share and I just know it will work (as do what most of you think so too).

In the past two months, Haikal and I already had more then 3 “discussions” (no, we’re adults and we don’t fight haha) but I guess it’s part and parcel of learning more about each other. They say misunderstandings which are solved asap actually makes the relationship stronger and I daresay that the relationship him and I share hold testament to that.

I’m glad Kal and I talk things out and we’re both the kind who prefers to get the issue out in the open rather then keep it inside and let it simmer and one day, boil. I have to say though, that sometimes it has crossed my mind that keeping things from him would be so much easier, but what relationship based on lies would work, right?

Afterall, ironically, our first “discussion” was sparked from the fact that both of us hid stuff from each other and the disappointment when both issues came out in the open was just too overwhelming. Telling the truth might hurt initially, but keeping secrets and telling lies, I’m sure, will create non-salvageable damage in the future when it comes out into the open (and you know things always do).

Meh, I know I am ranting and what I say might not make sense, but I just have to pen these thoughts down somewhere to remind myself (and Kal) that we’ve just go to learn to trust each other, and that if we make mistakes, the other should point it out in a nice manner in case the other party isn’t aware of it at all. Keeping secrets, and issues, inside wouldn’t help.

Kal, let’s make this work okay?

P/s. I think the comment box for private entries are finally working, just for your information. Also, I’ve received a couple of emails mentioning that you are not able to view some of my protected entries.

I stress here, that entries such as  “Protected : xxx (Personal)”, as the title indicates, are meant only for myself and normal “Protected : xxx” entries are the ones which can be unlocked using the password :) So yes kids, that’s the reason why you can’t view some of my protected entries! Hehe.

Have a good weekend ahead, yeah? Faddy is off to Batam woohoo!