fingersdontfing.comFaddy | Girl Next Door

So I was clearing my study room’s cabinet the other night out of sheer boredom, and to my upmost surprise, found a collection of pirated Vcds and Dvds from waaaaay back when I used to go Johore Baru often. As most of you readers know (since 95% of you are Singaporean haha), JB is practically littered with Ah Bengs selling such items and getting hands on one is damn freakin’ easy.

Being so free due to my unemployed status, I switched the tv on and started playing them one by one. After the first few attempts, I gave up and started blogging again… what else is new? HAHA. Thus, I’ve compiled a list on why pirated dvds suck balls.

Reason Number 5 : Can you bear seeing Brad Pitt homeless?!
Ok granted he still looks hot sleeping next to a rubbish dump eating leftovers, but erm… how’s he going to support his international family of Jolie-Pitts? Imagine a world where people opt to spend S$2.50 to watch one pirated copy of a movie instead of spending S$10 at mega cinemas. Some poor kid from [insert third world country name] will never get a chance to be the latest addition to the family! Haha…

Hell, actually, I don’t really care about this reason. Face it, I think celebrities have too much money on their hands already. NEXT!

Reason Number 4 : Silhouettes of people going to the loo.
Not so much of spoiler as it is irritating. I mean, this things usually happens in cinemas too so I guess it’s unavoidable. The only difference is that you can’t flick popcorn in their direction when they return. No, it wasn’t me who flicked popcorns in your hair. I swear.

Reason Number 3 : Illiterate Bengs/Mats writing the subtitles.
Now, this can actually be a reason as to why pirated Dvds are good, depending on how you view the situation. For people who depend on the subtitles (which is usually the case due to atrocious audio), it’s turn off the Dvd player time. But for people who can hear the words, the subtitles itself are a different comedic story plot! Hahaha.

In the above picture (screencapture from the movie Torque), we see two rival gangs in confrontation. The guy with the beanie is actually saying "But I thought Sushi is from Japan." However, the subtitles in Malay language translates into "I got Sushi from your pants." HAHA! What a total mood spoiler!

This cute kid here (from same movie) is quoting the price for a carwash, and he says "Five bucks." (which of course, means five dollars). Translation however, says "Five BUGS". Like wow, I thought we have surpassed the barter stage of the economy? Kekeke. And lastly,

As the bikers in the movie rode on the highways, they realised that the rival gang was fast approaching them from behind. The main character thus alerts the crew by saying "We’ve got company". Subtitles however, directly translates this into "We’ve got a company (business)". Like whaaaaat. Hahaha. My brother and I had a good laugh over this one particularly.

Reason Number 2 : Ability to get stuck in all the best scenes.
There I was, all comfy under my duvet sprawled in front of the tv watching Linsay Lohan falling everywhere in the movie Just My Luck, when all of a sudden the screen flickers. I press pause and play. But no, it stays in that pixelised state. Fast forward? Next scene? Replay? Wipe Dvd? TET. NO DEAL!

*Insert expletives* Needless to say, I actually went downstairs to the rental shop and spent another S$3 renting the same vcd for one day. I HAD to know the ending you see! Hahaha. What a waste of money, time and energy. Bah!

And last but not least,

The Number One Reason As To Why Pirated Dvds Are Bad :

Just wanted to insert a note here that I actually watched Protege in the cinema, but liked it so much that I had to get a copy for home viewing. Seeing the Menu Screen, I was feeling so damn uber excited and had gathered my whole family in front of the tv to watch it. My fingers selected "Play Movie" and for the next 2 hours,

Sometimes the Exit sign is more interesting for the person recording.

I kept forwarding and forwarding in hopes that the person recording will adjust the video camera but nooooo it remained that way throughout the entire movie. This is by FAR the worse quality pirated Dvd I have ever got my hands on. I wonder why it’s still lying around in my cabinet though :/ Hahaha. Shucks, oh wells.

So there it is, my top 5 reasons as to why pirated dvds are bad. You may agree, you may disagree, or you may even consider a reshuffling of the rankings but the above is my opinion, hohoho. Feel free to share your thoughts!

Oh and by the way, my family and I are more into original cds/vcds now, preferring to wait till the option of rental is available to us :) And finally, one slab of wall in my room is almost fully covered in original cds already woohooo! I loike~

P/s. I wanted to post this up for the Top 5 Problogger list, but meh, overlooked the dateline hahaha. Oh wells. Next time then!